Like lots of runners whose routines have changed as a result of the pandemic, I am currently contemplating my return to racing. I am just one week away from my first race since 26th January2020 and, if you’d have asked me last year how I would feel about returning to racing after seventeen months, I would quite surely have told you I would be raring to go. Why then am I feeling so daunted and nervous? I almost feel like it is my first ever race again!
In the previous 5 years, the longest time I have gone without racing is less than 4 months in 2018 but even in that lean year, I still ran 14 races; for someone who started running and wasn’t keen on the idea of Parkrun – which is a timed but non-competitive weekly 5km – because I thought it was too competitive, I had a real turnaround. Racing has definitely become a big part of my life. Pre-pandemic, most of my training was based around my big races and even in 2019, when I had a seizure which caused my shoulder to be dislocated, I was back to racing 9 days later – something I would not recommend, but I will explain why in a future post.
When it came to 2020, I hadn’t made any solid plans for races. In January, I ran a Mid Lancs league cross country with my club, Clayton-le-Moors Harriers, and I ran the St. Aiden’s RSPB Winter Beast in January, but I had no expectation on the year’s racing stopping there! I know that many people entered virtual races last year but it wasn’t for me; a big part of racing for me is the carnival-like atmosphere, seeing lots of my friends, and a sprint finish to the end! Something about solo virtual racing just didn’t quite hold the same appeal for me, and I was so eager to return to the excitement of scheduled events. So, back to my current state of nervousness…
I’m not entirely sure what is bothering me about going back to racing, I just know that every time I think about it I feel I have a knot in my stomach; excitement could be part of it and I’m sure it is in the mix but I’ve been excited for most of my big races and it’s definitely not the same. One thing that creeps into my mind is, “Will it be as good as I can remember?” Or, maybe because of the current restrictions, I am questioning, “Will it be as much fun?” The pre and post race socialising was part of the experience but I’d imagine that is going to be very different. The last thing I want is for a race experience to dampen my love of running. Logically, I know that this is nonsense; I have still enjoyed running for the last seventeen months, and I enjoyed running before I ever entered into the world of racing! I have to say that performance is playing on my mind as well; the distance doesn’t bother me as I’ve been running 12-14 miles in a single run most weeks this year, but the hills do! I haven’t been training on hills as often, and my lack of speed work worries me too. I understand that both hill work and speed work are under my control, but I need the motivation to do those and, ironically, I think a race will help with that motivation. So, how can I break the cycle?
Well, not one to shy away from a challenge, I have booked onto Gerry McCabe’s Legendary Hendon Brook Race; a race that most who have ran would call a ‘monster’ of a half-marathon. Although it is unofficially titled ‘The Uk’s toughest half-marathon,’ for me, its also one of my favourites and that’s why I’ve picked it. I’m hoping to give a post race review afterwards and I’ll give a fresh route description for those who haven’t had the pleasure to run the route. For now, I’ll leave it by saying that it is a hilly but beautiful race over the moors in east Lancashire and it’s a must-do for anybody who loves running with a view!
Life has been far from normal for me during the pandemic and I think most other people have found it very difficult, but we are hopefully now getting somewhere close to normality. It might be a slow change, not like the overnight change we felt when it began, but it’s getting there. The things that made us happy before are starting coming back and I’m nervous about doing something that made me so joyous before, but I’m also hopeful about the future. I’m hopeful, too, that by sharing my thoughts I can help others to rekindle their own loves which have been put on one side during the pandemic, whether it is racing, running Parkrun, or a celebratory, sweaty-vested hug with a loved one after an event!